Oxycodene
This song is really hard...
At the start, when they released TPNE, I heard all the songs in the first minute of the official release.
At the start I was excited to reach Oxycodone, because I saw the titles and I recognized a lot of songs that finally got released, and this one I had not heard before, for me, it was a fully new experience, but when I reached it and... I did not like it too much at the start...😅 since now.
It is normal that some songs do not connect with you at the start, and that was my case, so for the next 2 years I did not listen to it too much 😅of course I listened to it because I had it on my playlist, and I always put it on shuffle to hear all the songs, but recently I connected with Oxycodone and damn... it is really hard.
That is the reason it will be the first song I review from TPNE, and at this moment of my life I am listening to it a lot hehehe, and by the way, this song isn't my favorite song from TPNE, my favorite song is Party By Myself, for me it is the most brutal and devastating song to hear, but I will prepare that review later, so suscribe to see it later and share your comments with me c:
Oxycodone is really heartbreaking because all the song explains how basically Juice is living thanks to oxycodone, cocaine, and even if he does not mention it directly, all fans know about the perks too... man, this is one of the reasons why drugs are the worst decision ever, Juice expressed with total honesty how he was dealing with all of this, probably a few months before he passed away...
Oxycodene - The Party Never Ends | Chorus
"Oxycodone numbs my soul, makes me whole
Death melodies on my stereo
Holding onto my demons, but I gotta let go
Stay daydreaming, a nigga stay scheming
They thought that I was just dreaming, they ain't wanna believe me
Now the world hear me singing, heartbreak ring, yeah
Doing my thing, yeah, I'm doing my thing
Going through a few things"
The chorus has a really strong meaning of how he was dealing with drugs, Juice seems to be really into this character, In "Into the Abyss", they comment that they tried to protect Juice by telling him to quit drugs, or at least take less, also, there are videos where Juice is hanging out with friends in his house and he is leaning, and he tells the others that he was drinking sprite... man, it is heartbreaking to see him like that...
This part reflects exactly that. Juice was living in another dimension, where at the start he started creating his demons, and where he believed that if he quit drugs, he was not going to be Juice WRLD anymore, that exact concept is something I explained in the review of "Fast".
He mentioned a lot, and it was also shown in videos, that he always had a gun in his pocket, and yeah, he was making music because it was the only thing that kept him fighting with suicidal thoughts and his demons, we had to put ourselves on his shoes for the next explanation, I have to separate, in my opinion, the 2 types I consider suicidal thoughts in a short explanation:
- The suicidal thoughts that make you hurt yourself, or expose yourself to the world, and you cut yourself to relieve the tormented thoughts you have.
- The worst one for me... the silent suicidal thoughts. The ones where you want to express yourself and search for help, but you feel misfit and alone, where your thoughts really control you sometimes and start making you take impulsive actions.
I think Juice was the 2nd one, because he expressed it in a lot of songs, that is why when he approached his 21 years, his songs started to explore more his death, and how he felt that he was not going to live longer than that, that is why the death melodies part hits so hard, at that point, he was freaking out, especially with xxxtentacion and Lil Peep, because they did not even get close to the 27 club.
Legends - Fighting Demons
"What's the 27 Club?
We ain't making it past 21
I been going through paranoia
So I always gotta keep a gun"
He already saw himself as a legend, even with only a short period of time as a rapper, and he was and still is, he was an artist who could create original, authentic and honest freestyles with any beat he heard, that is why a lot of his songs explore different styles, iteractions and sounds, for the moment he was alive, he was changing the SoundCloud era.
Oxycodene - The Party Never Ends | 1st verse
"Anxiety tryna eat me alive
The oxycodone and codeine be keeping my soul alive
In it, I baptize, the devil I entice
Creating my demise, time after time
Vibe after vibe, high after high
Run out of supply, feel like I'ma die
Look my demons in they eyes
Smile or cry, I will fight
Live, not die"
The first verse expresses a similar feeling to Righteous... one of the saddest songs in my opinion (I will explore more this song on his separate review).
He talks about how everyone saw him, freestyling, vibing, drinking, getting high, but he also talks about the demons inside, at this point, those demons were a stronger version compared to the Death Race For Love album.
Maze - Death Race for Love
"I'm not in my subconscious, I'm conscious
They tell me that they can help me, I got this
Watch this, I took my demons into the bank of life and I made the biggest deposit
Without drugs, I'm losing my logic
These pills and my Pro Tools still got logic"
Fighting Demons - Legends Never Die
"Scrambling sometimes 'cause this shit is hard to handle
Demons in my heart (yeah), they destroy me like a vandal"
(I will explore more about the money Juice mention previewsly on the lyrics of Fighting Demons) It is heartbreaking to hear this verses, even if you are not a fan of Juice WRLD, he shows how drugs can actually change the life of someone, and yeah, as I said in the "Fast" review, he shared to the world how he entered the drug world since he was a teenager.
Oxycodone is basically talking about how drugs fucked him up entirely and how he is barely surviving, there is a part in the next verse that really breaks my heart...
Oxycodene - The Party Never Ends | 2nd verse
"I don't need a payment to express my thoughts
Just give me a few pills, and a mic, it's on
All this medicine, probably fuckin' up chromosomes
Searching my symptoms and stressing out over Google Chrome
Too real, death's too real
Favorite color, let me guess, it's the blue pills (uh)
Lean got me spinning 'round, codeine ferris wheel
And get high since high school
Skipping class, was a Ferris Bueller kid"
Exactly this:
"Just give me a few pills, and a mic, it's on...
Too real, death's too real
Favorite color, let me guess, it's the blue pills"
Man, it is too hard to hear... I interpret that he already saw himself dead, even if he said that he wanted to be alive, when he mention about his favorite color is a reference to the matrix movie (the blue pill is a metaphorical symbol of blissful, ignorance and escapism) and also i interpret that he can't imagine his world without drugs, everything is turning around on that and thats why he expressed that he fuck up his chromosomes and torturing himself searching for his condition, and the saddest pasrt is that he was planning to have a kid and raise him with his girlfriend, but I think that he knew that probably death was coming early for him, that can match exactly with the unreleased verse of Smile from Legends Never Die.
Smile (OG Version) - Legends Never Die
"The doctor told me I’d be death by next June
Unless I stop all these pills I’m in to
I haven’t had enough
I want to die below"
I do love the song, the beat is amazing, I love how since the Fighting Demons album, he explored more of a rock style with more instruments, and that gives a fresh air to his songs, but the lyrics are hard when you pay attention...
And this exact feeling can connect with a lot of people, I am not talking about being into drugs, but you can relate it to other situations you are confronting, It can be devastating, and sometimes you do not even know what feelings you have, or how to express them, even to yourself.
I can recommend to everyone to write in a notebook about yourself and give it a try to describe how you are in your daily life, what thoughts you have, if you are dealing with something, or whatever you want to talk about, writing in a notebook helps you understand yourself and place your feelings on paper.
It is important to not be alone, and to not freak out with coincidences, or bad situations you are having in your life, I consider that all the people in the world have their demons, the difference is how you feed them, and how you deal with them.
You are stronger than you can imagine 💚
And if you are into drugs, be careful, even Eminem talks about it, and I will close this review with his lyrics, if you need some help or want to express by yourself feel free to leave a comment to talk more about it :)
Lace it - The Party Never Ends
"I was lucky , my escape was narrow
And do not think I take it for granted that I'm still here
Synthetic heroin, you
Tried to kill me then you
Murdered Jarad didn't you?
You piece of shit
Thanks to you, now we lost Gangsta Boo and Pimp C
Prince and Michael mixin' Nyquil
With prescription Vics, addiction's like a fuckin' vicious cycle
Juice, we will forever miss you
To the younger generation
I ain't lecturing you, but man, just be careful when you"