Guardian Angel
Man.... this is a devastating song...
For real, this song always when I hear it I feel in my whole body a sensation really strange, I can't describe it properly but it's because it transmited to me a lot of feelings at the same time, and the most is that I always try to put on the shoes of x and I can't imagine how traumatic it was that experiences and how difficult was to make this song
This song it's confusing at the first time you hear it, the song feels broken, feels strange and I infer it's because x it's talking like in a different word, in a word where he didn't get angry with Jocelyn Flores and Jocelyn didn't took his life, he wants to be for real his Guardian Angel...
For this song I will let Guardian Angel and Jocelyn Flores at the start because this song is the second part of that song, literaly it's the same song but reverse it
Guardian Angel | Intro
Llew os uoy wonk I
Ytterp neeb ev'I
Nac eh naht retteb od nac I, naem I
Lrig, uoy wonk I, llew os uoy wonk I
Llew, llew, llew
Oh, oh, don't take my heart
Bmun os m'I, emas eht leef t'nod I dna
No dloh ot tsuj niap 'nileef eb ll'I
Oh, oh, don't break my heart
Bmun os m'I, emas eht leef t'nod I dna
Yeah
No dloh ot tsuj niap 'nileef eb ll'I
I will reversed it for you (this lyrics comes from Jocelyn Flores) to see what does the intro says...
Guardian Angel | Intro | Jocelyn Flores Reverse
I know you so well, so well
I've been pretty
I mean, I can do anything that he can
I know you so well, so well, girl
Well, well, well
_
And I don't feel the same, I'm so numb
I'll be feelin' pain just to hold on
_
And I don't feel the same, I'm so numb
_
I'll be feelin' pain just to hold on
Before talking about the first verse, It's important to know who Jocelyn Flores was and why she became such an important part of x.
Jocelyn Flores was a young girl from Florida who met x through Twitter in 2017, they quickly became friends and developed a close bond, she was struggling with her own mental health, and x often tried to support people around him who were going through difficult times.
In May 2017, x invited Jocelyn to travel to Florida and stay with him and his friends, during the trip, a conflict happened involving money that had reportedly gone missing, almost 7k USD, the situation created tension and led to an argument... Jocelyn left the place where she was staying and checked into a hotel by herself.
x later tried to reach out to her, wanting to talk and make sure she was okay, the next day he went to the hotel hoping to speak with her, but... there was no response when they tried to contact her.
May 14, 2017... Jocelyn Flores took her own life at only 16 years old...
Even writting it feels cold and all the story is with respect, R.I.P.
Let's continua with the first verse
Guardian Angel
Listen close, what is this?
Is it heart break?
Is it truly what it feels like?
What it sound like?
What is truly at the essence
Sharp teeth in the chest
Cancer all in the breast
Of the beaten and bruised
Feeling like a pawn to the greed of these fools
But I never been a piece of the evil
In the womb of these fake fuck niggas
With they masks up, presume
I'll be telling, if I got a load, I swear I resume
This song doesn't need my interpretation, it's all there, the feeling of x fighting with that guilt he constantly had
Honestly anyone can continue with his life in a normal way having this hugh scar inside one, this is a permanent damage as he said and damn... it crushes me when I hear it with truly guilt in his voice, with truly repentance in his heart, x doesn't made music for money, he stay in low budget almost all his career, he was a person that he wanted to express his feelings no matter what, maybe it can transform into a therapy for himself I don't know but expressing this feelig for the second time years later... he must struggle a lot, and whenever he goes... this feeling it's permanent, nobody can even take it...
Guardian Angel
On my conquest
For the key to the chest where my mind slept
And the love in my heart is a cancer
And I spread it through the wall as an answer
To the cries of the dead and the vanquished
The depressed and the lost and the damned, it's
Preservation of the peace, an ideal world
Never lonely when you flowin' through my mind, girl
Guardian Angel
I apologize, 'cause I couldn't see the pain in your damn eyes
This exact line... man... he wanted to help her but damn, it's a similar stuff like spiderman, he want to help everyone but realistically he can't... and it's nothing to do, same as the doctors when they lost a patient.
Guardian Angel
'Cause a nigga made you leave with your heart in between different pains
Couldn't see ya when ya ain't cry
Guardian Angel | Ending
I guess I'm at a loss for words
To feel so close to someone, and finding they're gone the next day
I guess you never realize how permanently damaging that is
💔
I have nothing more to say, this review/analysis doesn't need my words because x tell us in a raw way of his thoughts this feeling, there's no analysis here, but I separate the lyrics to emphazise on the phrases that are hard for me
R.I.P.